caption comp (2)

Thats a bloody big packet....


....of rizlas there!

*evaporates

*re-forms as condensation

*is for some reason reminded of very old joke that has something to do with a snake bite and taking away the pain but leaving the swelling,

unless i'm very much mistaken , that was taken when the tshirt was clinging to every nook and cranny.

*is certain

you haven't got a rear view have you Mike ??
just wondering is all

*whistles casualy.

*coughs

lovely effect on the back of the fiddle there.

*looks around

is that the man at the back doing
river dance???

I've just fainted with lust!!

no - man at the back id doing Ministry of Silly Walks

will bear in mind for next gig thant fans seem to want arse, bulge and tent shots amongst the moody atmospherics which the fog and rear lighting brings

....and the man at the back.

got it Mike yayhhhhh!

suprasternal notch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*faints*

... and the man at the back said everyone attack , and it turned into a ballroom blitz
ballroom blitz

apparently

don't you dare forget the "wet tshirt clinging to every nook and cranny particularly the rear view showing all the fine contours of his back" shot

bugger the atmospheric fog and rear lighting

sorry - i'm a bloke so if i concentrate solely on arse/tent/bulge/sweat...etc shots, then i might be creating a bit of a rod for my own back. just notice how they will become more and more apparent in future sets.

meanwhile

"folk singer of the year in 'Planet of the Apes' audition shock!!!!!!!!!!

I'm with milly - lots more suprasternal notch, thank you.

Meanwhile "while Adam is busy replying to myspace messages, Seth fills in with fog-making duties"

googles suprasternal notch.

Adam always replies to my messages telepathically

it's just something we do.

you know , it's not good for you to stay in a wet tshirt all that time on stage . It should be changed for a dry one.

oh yes

very slowly

especially now I have a big memory card for camera.

oh yes indeedy




*sniggers

amazing how the 'quality' photos get 8, maybe 9 comments, while cropped crotch shots (try saying that after a few goes at the local brew) get approximately 3 times the comments.

or perhaps not surprising at all.......

Nah, if you'd been brave enough to say hello at Beverley it wouldn't be so much of a surprise.

I sometimes wonder if people avoid us because of comments like these but I can't help myself anyway!

point taken. next time i shall bravely approach any remotely suspicious looking gangs of women with the line: "hi! are you some of the lust crazed folks from the mire?" and HOPE upon hope it's you lot!!!
(if not, the emotional scarring - or scaring - may be irrepairable)

sorry about the spelling of the last word

I am neither lust crazed nor suspicious looking
*takes off balaclava , night vision goggles, and mobile tracking device.

*admires Mike for abilty to type cropped crotch shots

btw, the 'cropped' refers to the shot, not the crotch. just booked for Towersey - having a family weekend (with with family!) - whilst , fo course, taking lots of ccs's

..and CLENCH!!!

I know, I did explain cropped meant shot not other thing.

*feels Mr M is the person to get a good shot of the man at the back .

If you want to you can crop the crotch shot or leave the crotch shot uncropped .

Mr M is incapable of cropping this photo..as Mr M is not in possesion of such a photo to crop..Mr M has no shot of man at back and has no camera to make shot with..

Wonders if Mr M could be prevailed upon to take such a shot if he were to be provided with a camera for the taking of said shot of man at back or any other shenanigans that may or may not occur backstage.

Mr M has shakey hands...the taking of such photo would be a challenge without causing considerable blurring.. of the photo..not the object or pose in said shot.

Perhaps Mr M requires a tripod for his camera?? Well, that would solve the problem of the blurring, but possibly not the shakey hands.

*feels said shot and cropping of said shot especially if involving cropping of crotch shot as yet untaken let alone cropped should be shot by person adept at cropping crotch shota crying out to be cropped.

*puts up hand ,
*not anywhere near crotch to be cropped

*obviously

*decides a cropped crotch shot of the man at the back should be cropped carefully to avoid cropping of stick.

Perhaps Babs could lend Mr M her pointy monopod stick thingy to balance camera on in order to avoid blurrage?

Alternatively perhaps one of us could come and aid Mr M in the taking of said shot.

*Wonders about nature of stick worthy of a mighty cropping*

"the stick" so worthy of careful cropping is featured a few pages back. They used the batteries fom Seth's batman torch in it.

*could assist Mr M from the rear if help is required in the steadying of hands .

Ah right.. THAT stick!!

It seems from the photo above, that Seth's batman torch has been overcome with an unexplainable transparency...

But why would he reach for his batman torch in the middle of a gig..??

upon reflection could offer Mr M job of cameraman for lots vid re-enactment as shaky hands would be fabulous for twiddly bit at end and would thus do away with need for wobbly chair (health and safety)

Oh no!! Not another one that needs..*counts and runs out of fingers to count on* how ever many video's to make it complete..

I guess that The White Hare was rather important though...*blushes*

there can NEVER be too many lots videos .
all featuring a moist ,

and not to soggy
thus avoiding stretchy , shapeless

t shirt.

*forces lower jaw up to draw teeth together*
*shivers*

*wimpers*

Ooh!!!

Assistance from the rear..
Mr M is now rather glad that the subject was quicky changed in his absence.
Mr M wonders whether the Mire is likely to offer rear assistance in the future.

the mire will assist in any direction at any time, we are here to serve.

*re- reads and wonders if that sounds as bad as it looks actually

Mr M sees only the possibility of assistance in one direction at a time.
Mr M gets easily worn out.

*also wonders if whole "getting fog machine to hide various comments from various eyes "is hardly worth the bother any more .

It would seem that fog machines are good for covering up certain innappropriacies, but it is agreed that the various eyes may have already seen said comments. This would only be the case however, if the various eyes in this mention are the various eyes which we are generally accustomed to.

Mr M obviously has never ventured into" newly registered" on mire or would know the possibilitys are endless.

we are accustomed to many a various eye on here , sometimes even two at the same time .
peering, always peering,

Should Mr M look out for a new bathroom cleaner or an unusual brand of persian rug??

relentlessly




how pathetic
do you see , do you see what I have been driven to.

*despairs

*runs back onto blog and strokes Babs on the top of the head*
Look what you have done to her!!

*rolls eyes*

all i'm saying is "perincala" made me go cross eyed

*winks

*whistles casually

ahem

*runs back quickly
not doing it , just looking at the webpage

obviously

phew

actually ,if Mr M gets worn out easily I'm sure I remember something from an oddly named member (giggles) that may help, if you know what I mean .

*assumes silence is Mr M checking out all newly registered members(giggles) since November 2006

Have a remedy for it do you Babs??

Mr M receives plenty enough spamming viagra emails to deal with his own problems thank you very much!

Hahahaaaa!!
Oh you get those too do you??

Not sure this mireling wants to be involved in any hands-on rear action however would be willing to assist as part of a Mire Choir for the singing of 1643.

*starts gargling in preparation*

*puts hand up in air*

Oooh ooh me too!!!

you dont get the penis enlargment ones to do you, Mr M we had a terrible job on here with em for a while , kept popping up all over

*makes no apology for crap joke

Mr M may get the emails..but he is in no way in need of such terrible 'jobs' popping up all over the place.

is pleased to hear it.

and suitably impressed .

*has totally lost thread with all talk of things talked about .
not for first time on moblog

*is easily distracted.

so, we've had bulges , cropping , battery powered sticks , oddly named porn/lakeman fans, the word penis and fog machines

god , i love the moblog
it keeps me sane

*visibly twitches

I've just checked the dictionary definition of 'sane' and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure you quite fit that description.

Wonders if maybe you use an alternative dictionary?

I use the Collins Concise Dictionary For People Who Are A Little Deranged .

sane. A spotter of single shoes.

see , told you so.

It seems that the moblog is empty without my split personality.

Looks like we temporarily had a life there!

Awww, poor Mr M- were you lonely talking to yourself there? I see you've actually been busy with work recently.

poor man's heaven tour coming up - now i know the type if photo opportunities to seek out for the moblog!!! if this one is anything to go by

bring as many personality's as you can muster ,we have the room, we knocked the wall through over there for just such a purpose.

*wonders if will include tassled personality.
*listens for swish with hand cupped to ear to aid listening process
*dares not hope to much

* thinks tassled wonder was most likely figment of imagination.

*goes back to ancient , dust covered , blog scrolls to check.

*rewinds
hang on a minute Mr M if that is indeed your real name , it's all very well for you to come swanning back in here bragging about your split personality being the life and soul of the blog.
We who remained kept the thing alive, alive I tell you.
You'd better tell us how many personalities you have with you as I may need to leave a note out for the milkman for a couple of extra pints .
Assuming you intend to linger a while.

*secretly continues with fog machine plan as the various eyes may not be THE various eyes.
*works furtively

I suspect THE eyes may be gazing elsewhere this weekend so we can make our plans for all contigences vis a vis the fog machine so if the eyes return there won't be much to see.

*finds string and large quantities of blue tarpaulin*
*hangs it up around the walls of the blog to stop the nosey parkers sticking their little musical oars in!!*
*sits and gazes at achievement of plastic blue sheet walls*
*sits all smug*

methinks the blue tarpaulin would be put to good use this weekend down in zumerzet if the weather forecast is anything to go by.

*hopes for pic of someone in wellies and sou'wester, and possibly lederhosen as can't believe no one bought a pair,.Doesn't believe "too many straps " excuse for one minute.
*wonders if mud wrestling pic could be a possibilty ?
*hopes so
*imagines.

*wonders wether to make up spare beds for Mr M's extra personalities.
*wonders

*in event of mud wrestling extravaganza, would also hope for pics of hoseing down afterwards.

*stands by with cropping equipment at the ready.

*wonders if Mr M and assorted personalities are up for an adventure , a casual chat, or just the odd oneliner every now and again??
*ponders

anyway, "too many straps" would indecate intimate knowledge of garment, so "trying on" must have occured at some point

*other news.
I have before me a short review from the Beverley Advertiser "delivering local life to your door ". It features a charmimg photograph of The Beverley Garland Dancer's Musicians and the following words
"organiser Cally Barker said"
"Seth Lakeman was amazing."
"He was very enegetic and went down well with the crowd"

!!!!!!!!
*sniggers.

Haha yeh i dnt think we would mind seeing Seth in another yellow poncho!!

"Went down well with the crowd." How come I missed that bit?

The poncho was in the way..

Well I wish he'd gone down well with me.

Cress...you must remember..your allergy to custard coloured pvc ponchos wouldnt allow 'going down with you'

Im sorry but there is nothing that can be done..

Oh, of course :( You're right. I shall just have to find a young man who wears blue ones instead, and who knows how long that could take. Would you care to come searching with me over this big mountain?

*holds onto Cressis's hand and dances over the mountain*
*hopes that we will not bump into any morris dancing pixies and be turned to stone...
It is hard to dance when u are made of stone..

I feel like I already am most of the time when dancing. How long have pixies been able to turn people to stone though? I thought they just stole stuff and did nasty irritating jinxes like making your nose tiny..? Ooh, you've scared me now.

*looks around warily sets phaser to tights-running-down-but-cannot-hoist-up-as-in-public-and-is-one-of-those-times-it-has-to-be-done-right-from-the-ankle

Something about Beardown Man...a random legend..but we all know that pixies are legends anyway...total Legends!!
I wonder if pixies shop at primark??

Pixies play percussion and grin.

Outside Primark in exotic coloured shirts?
I bet their shirt buttons are not coordinated properly..im sure that pixies hands would be far too small to put their buttons in the right holes...ooo-err..

I learnt this recently: women's clothing buttons up on the opposite side to men's because women used to have a maid to dress them. Isn't that fascinating?

I knew that they were on the wrong side...but not the reason why...i never really thought about it.
*wanders around a mire to avoid getting sucked in at this time of night*..*falls into a puddle*
*wimpers*

*fishes you out and sets you straight
*examines the muddiness

Well at least you're camouflaged now. Would you care to do the honours?

*hops into puddle

Do the honours??
*drags Cressi out and hopes thats what she meant* *shock*
Oh MY GOD!!! What's that coming over the hill..is it a...??*DISAPPEARS!!!*

Thank you that is what I... oh my god!!! It IS a...!!

*looks about frantically

HELP! WHERE DID YOU GO?!

*tries to hide behind a leaf
*isn't working
*hops back into puddle
*peeps out with nose and eyes above water

Allo allo allo...whats goin on 'ere then!!??
Where has your fluffy white long legged friend disappeared to??
And why are you hiding in that puddle? *drags Cressi out and puts strong arm around her*

'Ow you doin??' ;-)

Oh that's just not fair O_O

I could do with a towel please sir if I may.

Wouldnt you like a hunky dartmoor ranger in a kinky, revealing, slightly urine smelling wax jacket??
*Takes off jacket and hands it to Cressi*
Im slightly lacking a towel right now...but im sure you're likely to warm up quick when you see my magic wand... ;-)

* thinks

bizarre ! !

even for moblog!.

*boggles
*considers setting and adjusts boggling to bloggling

Well it IS a very comfortable jacket, sir, despite the slight urine smell, sir, but I can't help wondering where my friend is, sir.

*pulls out slightly soggy, slightly brown looking, fluffy bunny with very long legs from underclothing*
Here 'it' is..doesnt look quite the same as 'it' did before..but you wouldnt expect it to..would you..?

Oh, dear... had a bit of an incident with a puddle... and a chance encounter with your magic wand can't have helped matters.

*drags floppy wand out of mouldy trousers*
Perhaps i could clean 'it' up a little...

HELP!! *wimpers*

I don't even want to know how you intend to make her white again, with that wand of yours.

*grabs floppy bunny and shelters her protectively
*reacts to traces of magic remaining in FB's fur
*POP*

Oh wow. Coolsome.

*shakes head and wanders into corner, sits down , puts fingers in ear and hums whit hare.

*puts fingers in both ears obviously.

*shelters under Cressi's wing*

*Sees a Celestial Beauty and becomes less interested in making a bunny white again*

Oy, my bunny is sodden and brown and all you can think about is... oy... Ranger... eyes up here, mate.

*drags eyes up*
Can i help you?

I certainly hope so. This quest is getting more and more detailed by the minute. Current objectives stand as:

1. clean up and rescue Floppy Bunny
2. ensure nails are not chipped in process
3. find young man, preferably tall, who wears a blue poncho. Custard yellow negative as am allergic and also it just doesn't look good on my complexion.

So...anyone got any advice on how to redeem myself of this floppy wand..*looks for adverts*

Oh, you might need to talk to Mr M about that. He gets plenty of those adverts and I'm sure he could help you. I'm told that correct wand action is all in the wrist though.

Objective 4: help DNP Ranger redeem himself of floppy wand

Yeh...but you need to be careful of R.S.I...fiddling too much doesnt do you much good!!

Ah right..i may need to get some kinky wrist supports then.. slightly urine smelling...then wax them...not with waxing strips as i dont believe that kinky wrist supports are hairy..
However...*heads to union street..*
Im sure i could find something!!

*runs away from prospect of waxing and goes across the mire..
*gets sucked in..*

...You do that. Chlo, let's continue over this mountain so high in its might in search of our objectives. We can stop for some lembas bread in due time but right now it feels like I'm getting split ends; let us hurry.

Oh no! Bunny!!

*hurredly follows in the attractive beauty's hefty wake...*giggles*
Im hungry..*pouts*

Is it just me or are my nails looking a bit chipped?

Fine, lembas bread now then. Sit down and I'll get them out of my pack. Somewhere under this wax jacket I have a haversack full of the stuff. And humous.

*digs it out

Here we go! *gives some to Chlo

*shock*
OH MY!! Where has the bread gone!!??
That nasty ranger bloke must have taken it!! *cries with hunger*

You can NEVER escape me!!!

*plaits hair to hide first traces of grease and starts to chow down on lembas and humous

I really hope this doesn't get any worse.

*realises all too late that Chlo is more perceptive and that is in fact eating wax jacket and mud.

What now?!

Im going after that bloody ranger!! He needs to be taught a lesson!!

Oh dear.

Objective 5: reverse this rather unpleasant process
Objective 6: wreak vengeance on bread-stealing, cursing, limp-wanded DNP Ranger
Objective 7: find food

*wanders in general direction of the Ranger*
GOT YA!!!
*drags himaway for a torture session...NOT in any way kinky as the wax jacket has been left behind!!

I wonder if this mud would make a decent face-pack. I think I'm getting spots.

*calls after retreating friend with kicking and (predictably) sulking Ranger in tow

Don't inflict any permanent damage!

*finds self alone and reviews objectives

*writes in mud

1. clean up and rescue Floppy Bunny
2. ensure nails are not chipped in process
3. find young man, preferably tall, who wears a blue poncho. Custard yellow negative as am allergic and also it just doesn't look good on my complexion.
4. help DNP Ranger redeem himself of floppy wand
5. reverse this rather unpleasant process
6. wreak vengeance on bread-stealing, cursing, limp-wanded DNP Ranger
7. find food

*re-prioritises*

1. reverse this process
2. re-unite with Floppy Bunny (sank in mire), Chlo (dragged Ranger off for categorically non-kinky torture), and Ranger (dragged off by Chlo for disappointingly non-kinky torture)
3. ensure that vengeance has been wreaked upon Ranger by Chlo through the medium of definitely non-kinky torture
4. ensure that Ranger is restored to his position as area of outstanding natural sullenness and is simultaneously provided with wand of capable strength and turgor
5. find food
6. find young man, preferably tall, who wears a blue poncho. Custard yellow negative as am allergic and also it just doesn't look good on my complexion.

*looks satisfied
*picks wart absently as ponders

*bubble thickly

*spins around
*plunged hand deep into murky source of bubbles
*pulls out Floppy Bunny by ears

A-ha!! (No, Cowboy, don't dance just yet)

*screws eyes tight shut to avoid looking at Painfully Horrific Hag

No, please, I can't bear it, I'm cold and I'm wet and I'm muddy and I'm hungry and my eyes hurt and my nose is clogged up with mire. I can't face 80s music on top of it all.

It's alright!! Sorry about this, I just need to...

*hugs Floppy Bunny, ignoring shrieks of alarm
*reacts to last traces of magic in fur
*POP*

Thank goodness. Right. *reviews objectives*

Next: re-unite with Chlo (dragged Ranger off for categorically non-kinky torture), and Ranger (dragged off by Chlo for disappointingly non-kinky torture)
Which way did they go?

West.

YAY! *boogies and dances joyously away*

*heads west, Clean Bunny in arms, to find cohorts

*come from distance

*follows swiftly

Guess we're going in the right direction then... eep...

Oh finally you have found us!!
This ranger is one kinky bloke...despite my objections..kinky torture did seem to be the best way..

Im sorry...

oh god!! Didnt expect her to use my floppy wand as a whip!! *shock*

Hey look! A fish and chip shop!

*reviews objectives

1. ensure that vengeance has been wreaked upon Ranger by Chlo through the medium of definitely non-kinky torture
2. ensure that Ranger is restored to his position as area of outstanding natural sullenness and is simultaneously provided with wand of capable strength and turgor
3. find young man, preferably tall, who wears a blue poncho. Custard yellow negative as am allergic and also it just doesn't look good on my complexion.

Right... well... the vengeance has been wreaked at least... I'll ignore the slight deviance. Looks like all that whipping has made his wand quite firm... so I guess it's time to restore the Ranger to his area of oustanding natural sullenness. Stand in the corner, young man.

Hello.

*high-fives Chlo

THE END.

*creeps quietly away.....

no sudden movements now..........

Keep your eyes on the mad woman and you may just get away safely.

*stares fixedly at babs

Are you sure this'll work Emma?

*looks back over shoulder for a moment

*wanders off

*bemoans fact there's never anybody to hide behind when you need them.

*stares back at Cressi*

Babs, give me your hand and we'll make a run for it!

*whimpers

*crumples in heap.

*can't go on

*beams triumphantly

don't forget to turn the light off when you leave.

*looks around
*turns light off
*whooshy door noise

I look at this picture every day just to make sure that all is still present and correct you understand!!!

No man can really be that perfect surely? All that talent!

am worried that this wobbling thread is providing more pleasure than the original picture....that suprathingy notwithstanding. Can I buy a CD of it?

oh my i'm blushing just looking at the pic

he really is far too *ahem* talented for one man

why have i only just found the delights of seth