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The Unpleasant Moblog Of Spank The Monkey

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Another part of the Spank The Monkey media empire: offending your brain at The Unpleasant Lair Of Spank The Monkey, offending your ears at Spank's Audio Lair, and offending your eyes right here, right now.

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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

(viewed 648 times)
15th Dec 2004, 09:13   | tags:comments (0)

Toilet instructions, ANA Hotel Clement, Takamatsu

(viewed 1293 times)
Because someone was asking about 'crazy toilets' a few posts ago. Not pictured: the loo at the Fukuoka Kokusai Center, which includes not only all the usual bidet attachments and seat warming circuitry, but also a button discreetly labelled POWERFUL DEODORISER.

WARNING

DO NOT splash water or hot water on the product and/or power box. (This may cause fire or electric shock.)

To avoid low-temperature burn, turn off the warm-seat switch when the product is used by the very young or the elderly, those who are incapacitated.

Low-temperature burn: Low-temperature burn can occur when skin is in direct contact for a long period with an object at a relatively low temperature (40C - 60C). Such burns can result in reddening or blisters on the skin.

CAUTIONS

DO NOT use the product as a footstool or place heavy objects on. (This may break the unit and cause injuries.)

Avoid using the cover as a back rest. (To avoid cracking or otherwise damaging.)

8th Dec 2004, 12:15   | tags:,comments (0)

Washington Hotel, Canal City, Fukuoka

(viewed 1628 times)
Japanese Hotels, #7 of 7. A bit anonymous and western, but pleasant enough with it, and with the huge Canal City restaurant/shopping/cinema complex just next door.
8th Dec 2004, 12:07   | tags:,comments (0)

ANA Hotel Clement, Takamatsu

(viewed 1502 times)
Japanese Hotels, #5 of 7. Bloody huge, and the most westernised of all the hotels we visited. Biggest dilemma was ordering dinner at the 20th floor French restaurant. What language do you order in? French? Japanese? English?
8th Dec 2004, 11:59   | tags:,comments (1)

Hotel Patio Dogo, Matsuyama

(viewed 1619 times)
Japanese Hotels, #4 of 7. Behind the quaint misspellings and cheerful amateur look of the English section of its website, lies a ruthlessly efficient business hotel with fabulously helpful English-speaking staff.
8th Dec 2004, 11:55   | tags:,comments (0)

Nishikiso Bekkan, Nagasaki

(viewed 1735 times)
Japanese Hotels, #3 of 7. It'd be lovely if it wasn't for the sixty or so steep stone steps you have to climb to get to it. Three cheers for the owner's son, who carried my heavy suitcase back down them on his head.
8th Dec 2004, 11:48   | tags:,comments (0)

Nakazono Ryokan, Kagoshima

(viewed 1905 times)
Japanese Hotels, #2 of 7. Recommended in all the guidebooks, and with good reason: Mr Nakazono is perfectly happy dealing with all the peculiarities of western tourists.
8th Dec 2004, 11:48   | tags:,comments (0)

Kashima Honkan, Fukuoka

(viewed 1608 times)
Japanese Hotels, #1 of 7. Comfortable, old-fashioned Japanese inn: nothing spectacular, but everything in just the right place.
8th Dec 2004, 11:42   | tags:,comments (1)